Leadership

2022.12.01

The power to ask (and ask onesself) great questions

By Stéphane Rochereau

At the last HR Congress of the Ordre des CRHA, I was able to attend two conferences highlighting the power of great questions. Inspiring words on this topic were shared by Hal Gregersen, executive director of the MIT Center for Leadership, and Jennifer Garvey Berger, the President and founder of Cultivating Leadership.

Asking the right questions
We were first shown why questions matter more than answers. In fact, it is the questions that help us imagine and define the future, because questions challenge the status quo, open up a universe of possibilities, that lead to constructive disruption.

Obvious, yes. So why is it so hard to put into practice?

Basically, we tend to ask fewer questions because they make us uncomfortable. And you know what? It’s often the best questions that make us the most uncomfortable! It is precisely such questions that move us forward, that bring to light the “real things”. Great leaders understand this. They never stop asking questions to those around them.

So, what to do? To coin a phrase: “Compose and wait”. In other words, put in place the conditions for these issues to emerge, and then wait… One must first open the way to questions by creating a climate of trust, without judgment, by putting yourself in listening mode and by being ready to accept the discomfort great questions will cause.

A practical exercise:

1. Put your biggest challenge, the one that keeps you up at night these days, on paper in a simple sentence
2. Make a list of the questions that come to mind as you reread your statement of the challenge
3. Share your challenge, and the related questions, with someone you trust, and instruct them only to ask questions

I guarantee you won’t see your challenge the same way again. Once the exercise is done, take the time to check your emotional state. Are you more concerned, or less, than before the exercise started?

Asking the right questions
We all operate in complex environments, which generate traps that we must not fall into. Here are five such traps, and tips to counter them.

Trap number 1: Believing you are right
Human beings are configured to think they are right, that they are making the right decisions. It reassures us and puts us in a state of satisfaction. But in a complex situation, by thinking we are right, we risk not detecting certain elements and to not question ourselves. One needs to take time to think about certainties. What can you be certain of in your private or professional life? Typically, there is very little.

Pitfall number 2 – Telling oversimplified stories
We like to tell stories. Some benefits usually arise directly from sharing a relevant story. There are also times when it just feels good to share something. But in a context of increasing complexity, there is a danger of oversimplifying stories, which can sometimes be detrimental.

Telling stories is very common. But each story can be told from different points of view, potentially providing multiple, valuable perspectives on the same event. Sometimes the most important lessons arise from certain complexities within a story, and one would need to get into those complications. But the teller or the listener may not have enough time or patience. Can you think of someone where their story that is complicated to tell? Too binary? Where the simple version won’t make the key points?

Trap number 3 – We focus on agreeing
Disagreement causes a feeling of social rejection. Pain is pain, whether physical or social, and humans don’t like pain. We therefore tend to surround ourselves with people who agree with us. Can you think of a recent post you made specifically to appeal to a group?

Conflict, at some level, can be very constructive. How best to undertake this? Give yourself the space needed to disagree with another person. Ask questions rather than make contrary statements. When constructive conflict might be necessary, we can ask ourselves if the conflict might be an opportunity to deepen our relationship. If the relationship matters, we will sincerely want to find the best answer, together.

Pitfall number 4 – We like to be in control
The feeling of control is more important than we think. Studies have shown that this feeling allows for longer, healthier lives, among other things.

In today’s complex world, very few people feel ‘in control’. This can contribute to burnout, chronic stress, and other long-term detrimental outcomes. How can this state of loss of control be reversed? By asking yourself the question: What are the conditions that could allow me to take charge of my life?

Trap number 5 – We protect our identity
Too often, we find ourselves trapped by our ego, which influences the facets of our personality that we expose and how we present ourselves. Have you ever stopped to think about how you would like to be perceived? What characteristics would you like to be remembered? Are there any traits of your personality that you prefer to hide, but that nonetheless define you?

This introspection can allow us to progress towards who we could and would like to become.